I wish I could make Christmas not happen this year. I don't feel like having good will towards other humans. I don't feel like buying or receiving gifts. I don't feel like listening to happy music or putting up a tree. I've become very bitter over the last six months, probably because I do cashiering and customer service. It really makes you sick of people, their attitude problems, and how they think the whole fucking universe should revolve around them. So I have decided to make my own holiday, one where I can celebrate being awful and mean!
I haven't come up with a name for it yet. Let's see, where to put it?
January- Recovery from Christmas and New Year.
February- Stupid love day, birthdays of my sister and I.
March- St. Patrick's Day.
April- Fool's Day.
May- Mother's Day.
June- Summer begins.
July- Fireworks Day. Say "YES!" to blowing off limbs with explosives!
August- More wonderful summer.
September- Fall begins, preparation for Halloween.
October- Halloween!
November- Stupid turkey gluttony day.
December- Stupid Christmas and other variations of good-will holidays.
I'm thinking I'll put it in April or May. Not much is really going on in those months and, since winter depresses me, it will be nice to have something to look forwards to before summer comes around. Every holiday has traditions associated with it. Some of mine will be:
Decorating with snakes, scorpions, rats, and/or skulls.
Dress yourself in a way that makes you look sinister and unapproachable.
Buy yourself a weapon, one you've always wanted.
Let someone you don't like know that they aren't liked. You can tell them face-to-face or construct an anonymous note out of newspaper clippings.
Scowl a lot and generally be disagreeable, uncooperative, and selfish.
Tamper with or vandalize something.
That's what I have so far, so it's still a work in progress. Damn, I can't believe I hadn't thought this up before. Gotta go to bed now.
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